First Date

The day has finally come and I’m nervous. It’s my first date.

Today we’ll meet with just the two of us, face to face. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and yet I’m terrified! I wonder if she’s anxious about meeting me?

We haven’t met like this before, but we’re already so close that we’re a part of each other. I can’t imagine life without her; if it’s possible, I’ve known her ever since I’ve been.

I feel her heart beating fast when she’s excited. It’s different to how it beats when she holds back tears, trying to be brave. Slow. Deep. Heavy. I know that she cries when she’s on her own and thinks no-one knows.

I wish I was brave, but I’m not. I tremble. Darkness surrounds me and my world closes in. My stomach knots and my skull crushes my grey matter. I try to draw a breath but there’s no air.

There are voices around me, but I recognise none of them. They mean nothing to me; they’re not my love. My heart races, my vision blurs. I strain with all my strength to suck air into my lungs. I must breathe! I need oxygen almost as much as I need my love. Can’t one exist without the other?

I’ll be with her soon, but this very hope is the cause of my fear – and the cure. The time is close, I can feel it. I’m excited, but so afraid.

Sheer will-power brings me my breath, and my head clears as my lungs fill. I know she’s near and it makes me feel alive! My body screams with excitement but I can barely control my movement. My legs are like jelly and my arms jerk and lash wildly when I wave. Not a great impression, but it’s who I am, I suppose. Simply me, nothing more.

I reach her, somehow, and her arms hold me. I feel them on my skin, calming. It’s not just a physical connection between our bodies, but something deeper. Spiritual, maybe. I belong in those arms! I’ve found my home and I can stay here forever.

I turn my face – just a little; I don’t want the moment to end – because I want to see her more closely. I gaze at her with eyes wide open, pupils dilated. Such intense love as I've never before experienced. She too looks back into my eyes and sees me, loving. She smiles.

I know that she'll always be here for me. I snuggle back into the arms of my mother.

My first date: Saturday 12 December 1970. The day I was born.

Paul Sterlini
Sep 3 2020

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Comments:

Great piece of misdirection. Really enjoyed the imagery in this one

Tony Spencer
Dec 19 2020

Lovely.

Rod Webb
Sep 8 2020