Matt thumbed through the latest edition of Science Weekly and saw the column from Chryan Industries. Was this a joke? Some of us are trying to be serious! he shouted at no-one in particular, especially to the author of the article - an Ellie Hamlyn. Her glossy picture showed a brunette with wavy shoulder-length hair and a look of mischief in her sparkly brown eyes. Probably photoshopped.

He flicked to the end and read her author bio. Born here, raised there, did this then did that. Moved somewhere else, did a few more things then broke light speed using a light speed detector, or LSD. Has a cat, loves coffee and chocolate. Email address in a friendly font.

I wonder...he thought to no-one in particular, and clicked “New draft” on his email. A quarter of an hour later he clicked “Send” and the email was on its way. To no-one in particular.

He didn't expect her to reply but it was worth a shot. Matt was prepared to have a shot at anything. Especially at Ellie.


Dave didn't so much have a shot at anything but as at anyone.

Generally speaking, he was the kind of chap who would sell his own grandmother. That is, if he could find a buyer - and it wasn't for lack of trying. The trouble was that no-one was interested in the stern-faced mother of his mother. Why couldn't she be more like other grannies, sweet and cuddly, and good at baking cakes and cookies? What wouldn't he give for a delicious home-cooked apple and rhubarb crumble! Not like the semolina which he was often served and told to, rather ironically, like it or lump it.

David thought about selling other people's grandmothers. Well, why not? They were usually more charming and certainly dribbled less. It's not that he was a granny pimp or anything, it's just that he wanted a bit of extra cash. Who didn't?

David chewed the last of his semolina and made his way into his bedroom to get dressed. His eyes passed over the bed he made last night, an exuberant act of ungrounded optimism before striding off to the local night club. Looking back, it was a waste of time. Bored and still sober he'd driven home, singing untunefully against the ringing in his ears from the club music.

On the way he spotted a girl sitting on the kerb. She wore an overcoat, but it was undone and he could see that she was...

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Paul Sterlini
Jan 27 2021

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This is an intro to the characters, so there's much more to build the story, but great cast, characters appear tenuously linked even in this extract, funny with some humorous connections in phrases. This has a lot of potential.

Tony Spencer
Feb 6 2021

Love them or despise them, some intriguing characters - tell us more....

Janette Ostle
Feb 6 2021