A Mind in Chaos

There is a constant list of thoughts waiting patiently for my attention. Some of that manage to reach my cerebral cortex. But most slipped by without ever knowing they existed. Don't get me wrong, being noticed is not significant. By the time they reach the front of the queue, they are highly likely to have been forgotten.

Let me give you a graphical example, two days ago we went to explore a park. It's a very quiet space, with a cafe that sells little treats for anyone who drops by. The entrance to the park is close to the beach where excited children splash in the tumbling waves as their parents sip mojitos. It rambles along toward an apartment that we might like to live in. It’s all very idealistic.

To focus on one event, we decided to stop at the café for a coffee and possibly a cake. The lady working there was very friendly and seemed genuinely pleased that we had decided to visit. An array of delicate cakes and pies were displayed on the counter, under large glass domes. One small pie attracted my attention, a small, but chunky looking, chicken pie. I decided to have one of those and avoid the inevitable sugar crash of a cake. The pie itself was only the size of a cupcake, so still classed as a small treat. My pie was placed in front of me on the counter, upon a simple white plate and napkin.

As she made the coffees, the lady continued to chat happily, asking us about where we were from, were we on holiday, did we like the area and what brought us here. One thing I am known for is my ability not to listen. You might think me rude, but I actually find it very difficult to concentrate on the words that spill out of peoples mouths. It gets worse if I try to concentrate. So I don’t.  In fact, my brain refuses. A thought found itself at the front of the queue and suggested I pick up the plate containing my pie, ready to take to the table. So I did. 

Something tapped my foot. For a short time, I ignored it. My normal response to anything that hasn’t queued first in my mind. It couldn’t have been important and my mind was already elsewhere. Then something odd happened. A thought, that I’d dismissed as used and no longer necessary, suddenly ran back from where I’d left it. It doesn’t startle me, I’m quite relaxed. My arms are by my side, my sunglasses still in my hand. On the other hand, my pie was on the floor.

Craig Worcester
Sep 11 2021

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