Saturday. A Step into Sleeplessness.

# Vivian

Saturday, three weeks before Christmas. That was yesterday, and I'm shattered.

I’m not tired from the shopping. That would be easy to solve; go to bed and sleep it off. No, it's more than that. Christmas shopping! Bah! What's the fuss?

I don't understand the problem. Decide what you're going to buy, go out and buy it. Or look for something, then buy it. Or do what my husband does - go online. And buy it. It's even delivered to your door inside the week. You can stay in your pyjamas! What's so tiring about shopping? Get on with it, and stop moaning.

Sorry. Forgive me; I'm tired and cranky. I need sleep - but it's hard to come by. My husband, he'll tell you. Keep Jeff talking, but quietly, please. I'm trying to sleep.

# Jeff

Viv needs more sleep. She's upstairs, I think, trying to catch up on some.

She doesn't get much sleep at night. I know it's my fault, but I wish she wouldn’t go on about it. I guess she's cranky. It’s why I let her sleep through all of yesterday. Call me selfish, but I need some peace and quiet too.

I snore. I'm told, and apparently, I need to be told about it the following morning. And again in the afternoon. And during afternoon tea. And in the evening. Perhaps by then, it's more of a warning. And at night, in the thick of it, she'll tell me then too. In her own special way.

Even through my deepest slumber the sting of my wife's toe in my rib cage yanks me away from my dreams of journeys with angels or soaring like an eagle over snow-capped mountain ranges, to her icy stare. "You're snoring."

It's a statement loaded with intent.

How she manages to get her foot high enough to reach my thoracic cage when she kicks me is above comprehension. How her toe wedges snugly between my intercostal spaces is also a mystery. But I know the drill, and I roll over from my back and onto my side. I'm barely awake, but I do it. It’s semi-automatic now.

She has a theory. She might be right, but between you and me, I don't care. I'm asleep when I do it, and I fall asleep quick enough after I've been woken. The running theory is this: I snore most on my back. Rolling over should keep me quiet, but the truth of the matter is that it keeps her quiet.

Well, for ...

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Paul Sterlini
Nov 25 2021

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