Ladies of a Certain Age

It comes to every lady, when we reach a certain age.
Our temperature begins to rise and sends us into rage.

The furnace deep within us is fuelled up to its max,
and when that fire begins to burn it stops us in our tracks.

The beads of sweat begin to form upon our lip and brow,
then suddenly within a flash we're soaking wet somehow.

This doesn't happen once or twice, Mother Nature's not that kind.
50 times a day for 15 years I think you'll find.

And then there is the memory loss, Oh this one's such a blast.
We forget things in an instant, don't remember what we did last.

I'm often in my flow at work, presenting to the staff,
Then suddenly my words are lost, I'm blank and look so daft.

As if that's not enough to bear, there's plenty more to come,
Getting emotional at everything is just so dumb.

But yes, somehow our tear ducts begin to overflow.
We cry over the slightest thing, our softer side on show.

Which doesn't help our image of strength, while at our peak,
Oh no, we look ridiculous, pathetic and simply weak.

But when I'm with my loved ones, well they all should know by now,
When they're allowed to speak to me, or when it'll cause a row.

No they don't need to be psychic, merely see inside my head,
And know how I am feeling from this menopausal dread.

Did I mention the incontinence? This one's a massive blow.
Pelvic floor muscles no longer work, we just can't stop the flow.

We also have to fight the bulge that forms around our waist.
The diet's never work when cellulite has won the race.

Our bodies are less attractive when it all starts pointing south.
By the time we hoik our bosoms up, they're nearly in our mouth.

Us ladies of a certain age, still hold our poise and smile,
When really what's beneath our clothes is fat, wrinkled and vile.

So not only are we wet through, from the sweat and also tears,
our brains have now vacated, and we'll suffer this for years.



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Tracy Windross
Mar 16 2022

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I thought this was hilarious - and very true!

Nonita Thomas
Mar 29 2022

Wonderfully summed up, I can still remember the fallout!

Tony Spencer
Mar 18 2022